“For every minute spent in organizing, an hour is earned”
We all know the importance of this statement. At Smart Works Edinburgh, this is a RULE that we live by. And we wouldn’t be able to dress a client and give her interview training within the span of 2hours, if we weren’t organized. Specifically, we need to have an organized wardrobe/ stockroom.
For National Volunteers week, meet Emma. She is a STOCKROOM VOLUNTEER.(Also, a dressing volunteer. Talented, right? )
What does this role involve? Painstaking work and lots of patience. We get donations from people every other week. We have collaborations with Next, Hobbs and other retailers who send in clothes quite often. We have suit- drives every few months. As a stock room volunteer, Emma, and others volunteers, sort EVERY SINGLE PIECE of donation. They need to be arranged by size, by color, by season, etc. Sort and display accessories, scarves. Steam all the clothes, that require it. Discard ones that aren’t suitable for an interview. Separate clothes that are too fancy(Again, unsuitable for an interview). We could go on.
Volunteers like Emma, who handle the stockroom, almost always are dressing volunteers as well. But that’s for another time.
Emma started volunteering with us 2 years ago, before the office had opened at Bonnington Bond. At that time we basically stored & sorted the clothing donations in a spare bedroom in the basement of somebody’s house!
Having heard about SW & the amazing work that was being done in the South, she decided to join Smart Works Edinburgh to try to help local women get back into the workplace. After a career break she took(looking after her two boys), she says she could identify with ‘the fear’ of the working world & the apprehension felt by many women facing an interview situation.
She had relevant skills following an 8 year position as Area Manager with Shelter where she helped expand their shops & develop the business.
She later went on to work in a small independent boutique in the West End.With her experience in both the second hand clothing market right through to the designer end of the fashion business, she thought she might be able to offer something to the Smart Works team. (Something? We are hugely indebted to you for the work you do!)
In her words,
“I think every volunteer dresser would say the same thing, that without doubt, the best thing about the job is seeing a confident & happy client walk out of the room, remembering who they were & what they could do & looking & feeling great.”
As part of National Volunteers week we thought it would be a good idea to introduce some of the wonderful people who volunteer with us.
Our first feature for the week is Clare. She’s an interview training volunteer who has been with Smart Works Edinburgh since early 2014. She’s been associated with us even before we got our office space in Edinburgh.
So what do interview volunteers do? Quite simply put, they help the client prepare for her job interview. This could range from helping her to find answers for general interview questions, help explain CV gaps better, how to sit, stand, breathe(for nerves) and exude confidence in her interview. Some of the women who come to us do not realise that they have a lot of skills to offer a potential employer. Volunteers like Clare, help them think about their interests and other transferrable skills. Most importantly, interview training volunteers boost the client’s CONFIDENCE in herself and her skills.
Clare, who has been volunteering for little over 2years with us, felt that there was little practical help available to support women in particular in being successful at interviews. She wanted to help women achieve their aspirations by getting the job they wanted.(So glad that she decided to volunteer for us!)
She has over 35 years of experience in the IT sector, starting work as a software engineer and finally holding the position of Director of Business Development for an Edinburgh based IT company. She is now (early) retired and volunteers with various other charities.
She loves to see the difference an hour’s coaching (and dressing) can make to a woman’s self-esteem, confidence and can-do attitude ! (We love to see that as well!). She enjoys being part of the Smart Works team in Edinburgh and working closely with the dressing volunteers to help prepare women for interviews.
In her own words,
“It is a privilege to volunteer with Smart works and hopefully in some small way make a difference to the women who are on their pathway to employment.”
I know by now you are all aware of what we do. If you do not, click that “About Us” button on the upper right corner and find out more! (I am trying to keep it short and simple, here, bear with me)
In case you are all wondering, we are doing great! We are keeping busy, but we can be busier, if you’d like to refer someone! *nudge nudge*
Our new project is “Agents turn Clients”. What is it, you ask? Well, let me tell you all about it!
So we all know in this day and age, you sometimes order something off the Internet, and when it arrives….. Well, let’s just say it’s not exactly what you were promised.
We could advertise this service till we turn blue in the face, but are we sure what we do is perfectly illustrated in our presentations? Maybe so, maybe not. So we decided to invite referral agents to experience a genuine Smart Works appointment. Nothing beats personal experience, am I right?
We thought: “what better way to put agents and potential future clients at ease, than give the agents the knowledge of what exactly we do here”?
We have just started this project and while we understand how busy everybody’s schedule is, we are hoping that a lot of agents will visit us.
In case you have forgotten, or you did not know, I will explain the process.
There is a phone conversation during which we ask some questions such as the interview date, the job applied for, some measurements and any specific requirements.
The client is then booked for an appointment at their convenience.
The appointment is set for around 2 hours: one for dressing, one for training.
If the client is successful, then they can come back in for a 2nd fit
ting and they get more work attire.
So there it is, “Agents turn clients”. What do you think about it? Let us know in the comments section below.
P.S: Now, my dear agents, there’s a catch: at the end of the session, you will not leave the office with the outfit. I’m sure you understand there are ladies out there that need it more than you ^.^
By Lindsey Porter, Smart Works Edinburgh volunteer and owner of www.yoganuu.com
Continuing my belief that just as ‘5 a day’ of helpings of fruit and veg helps us to sustain a balanced healthy lifestyle, 5 a day of other activities can also support our greater wellbeing. Todays article contemplates ways and reminders to bring us into the present and help us cultivate a healthy attitude of gratitude. Why do we care about it? Well it’s thought that being thankful for things starts a chain reaction to happiness as well as a way to heal ourselves.
So to get you started on flexing your gratitude muscles here are 5 things to consider doing on a daily or frequent basis. As always if you find you do some or all of these things already, then acknowledge the good work you’re doing and spread the word.
Being grateful for what we don’t have! You might be thinking something like how can I be grateful for not having material wealth, a better job, more patience etc. but here’s the thing what about pausing to be thankful for a whole bunch of things you don’t have that keeps you well. For example and assuming you’re UK based, being grateful we don’t have contaminated dirty water to drink, dangerous wildlife around us, life threatening toxic waste…and you can add more I’m sure.
Gratefulness captured. You may have heard of gratitude journals where you write something down everyday that you feel grateful for but how about trying this that I came across – a gratitude jar. Write something down on a slip of paper fold it up and pop into a jar. When you get to the end of week/month/year tip them all out and read them, reflect and allow the bountiful feelings over a period of time wash back over you. If you have others at home why not encourage them to do the same and you could then read each other’s for something different? You can then get as creative as you like with your reminders like make a collage with them!
Measuring your gratitude/happiness. Imagine like in the country of Bhutan, situated at the eastern end of the Himalayas we measured nationally our levels of happiness known as GNH (Gross National Happiness). What would be your criteria for measuring it and what score would you give yourself? If you scored yourself low, what actions, even small simples ones, could you take to improve on that number? Bhutan acknowledges even with the measure they are not perfect at providing happiness to citizens but just by outwardly committing to it and becoming more aware it probably makes it better.
Reframe, reframe, reframe. Repetitive and perhaps slightly annoying advice but I do believe it can make a big difference in a positive way. Here’s an example you’re in a rush to catch the train to commute to work in the morning, suddenly a car pulls out in front of you and there is an impact. An instant response may be one of frustration and anger at messing up your day but you could also look at it from the point of view that it was fortunate no-one got hurt or suffered physical pain from the accident. And let’s face it, at some point we all make a mindless move in our car. A good reminder is to be more mindful when driving. Become aware of your negative thoughts, stop the downward spiral by pausing and looking to reframe the situation with a positive view on it. It gets easier with practice.
Gratitude in action. Similar to one of the points I mentioned in my previous article about Wellbeing, by helping someone else you may find yourself getting something back which can often be a feeling of thankfulness. What could you do? Volunteering your time to help a charity, donating money for needy causes or just giving verbal support to people you know, people you don’t know. Saying a few more ‘thank yous’ during your day. I recently viewed an incredibly moving short clip about a woman’s personal gratitude project – view it at: https://www.facebook.com/Upworthy/videos/1272551406119048/
You may remember in the last article I talked about using a visual activity such as when you see a red traffic light to remind you to stop, pause and in this case, use to think about one thing in life you can be grateful for. I hope we’ve sown some seeds for you to grow a healthy attitude of gratitude. See you next time.
“Gratitude turns what we have into enough.”
(This blog is part III of a many part series by author Lindsey Porter. Click here to read Part I , Part II)
Lindsey Porter is an accomplished Project Manager in Financial Services who is now running her own business providing WellBeing Retreats, Yoga classes and other therapies and writing articles on topics she’s passionate about. She is an experienced NLP Practitioner, Reiki Master and Holistic Therapist.
By Lindsey Porter, Smart Works Edinburgh volunteer and owner of www.yoganuu.com
Continuing my belief that just as ‘5 a day’ of helpings of fruit and veg helps us to sustain a balanced healthy lifestyle, 5 a day of other activities can also support our greater wellbeing. Todays article contemplates a more holistic view on ways to enhance our overall wellbeing to bring us nearer to that mental, physical and spiritual balance.
Here are 5 things you can consider doing on a daily or frequent basis to boost your overall feel good-about-yourself factor. And if you find you do some or all of these things already then acknowledge the good work you’re doing and spread the word.
YOGA. Of course this is going to be Number One on my list as a long standing yoga practitioner and teacher! But here’s the thing, when I see new people come to my yoga class and start say things like, ‘I slept so well after last week’s class’, ‘my body feels so much better from the lengthening and stretching, ‘coming to your yoga class helped restore peace at home’ it validates how bringing our focus towards the connection between our body, mind and breath rejuvenates us. I suggest trying out as many different types of yoga as it takes to find a style you love and that will help you eagerly return to your yoga mat to explore and benefit from these connections. Also consider introducing a new daily routine in to your life starting with perhaps just one yoga practice. This will help awaken and prepare your body and mind for the day ahead. For example you could start with a 2 minute hip opener practice, best to do first thing in the morning and you can view my short YOUTube version of it at: http://www.yoganuu.com/be-inspired.html
WALKING. Not in any old way but in a focussed way. In NLP (Neuro Linguistic Programming) language we like to call it, mindful walking or walking in another person’s footsteps. The theory is when you would like to perhaps do something in a way you see someone else doing it well or to understand a person’s viewpoint/actions try this approach. Take yourself to a quiet place. Settle your breath, closing your eyes can help and then really start to bring to mind what that person looks like, sounds like and even smells like. Assume what you believe their identity to be and then start to take a few steps in a way that you know or imagine that person would carry themselves. As you continue to walk in this very conscious way you can start to think how that person would look at or approach your situation/challenge whatever it is that’s on your mind. You may find from this exercise you become aware of some fresh perspectives for your specific issue or challenge. When you do, have a go at doing something differently and see what happens. Changing things up and taking a fresh look at something can lead to a better sense of wellbeing in creating a life with a wider approach and more choices.
DRINK TEA. So not everyone is a tea drinker and that’s ok. However, whether you drink it regularly or sparingly there is growing support around the health benefits particular types of tea can bring. It’s the high levels of anti oxidants as well as compounds called catechins which are regarded as helping with our concentration and focus. Aj, a friend of mine who I used to work at the same London bank and went trekking in Nepal with back in 1997 (and we definitely savoured our chai tea back then too), co-founded Camellia’s Tea House and is the UK’s first ITEI (International Tea Education Institute) Master Tea Sommelier. There’s a growing range of health and wellness infusions available from health food stores and you can also check out Aj’s amazing range available at: camelliasteahouse.com. Plus, not to be missed is Smart Works Edinburgh’s own Luxury Afternoon Tea, socialising and fundraising event taking place on Friday 20th May, 2016 1.30-4.30pm where you can get your fill of wellbeing in good company. Contact edinburgh@smartworks.org.uk or call 0131 516 7787 for tickets or further information. I’ll be drinking a cup along with you but from our May Scottish Wellbeing Retreat in the remote and tranquil Kinloch Rannoch. “Tea is like a hug in a cup.”
FIND SOME QUIET TIME. We all know how busy and inundated we are with our to do lists, post it notes or gadgets with reminders going off. At the same time can we honestly justify a good reason for not being able to give ourselves just 5 or 10 minutes in a day. A moment to pause, find some quiet, to zone out and reflect? Some ‘me time’ is a habit worth cultivating and if you need convincing read, listen or watch Andy Puddicombe’s take on how 10 minutes can make all the difference (he has a book ‘Get some HEADspace, phone apps you can get a daily quote from and some TED talks on YOUTube). Over my years working towards some type of ‘meditation’ practice his take on things is getting me the closest. Call it what you want; meditation, me time, mindfulness, or something else, just find a way that gives you a reason to press the pause button long enough to catch your breath, reflect, renew and be able to move on again from a better place.
BRING SOME WELLBEING TO SOMEONE ELSE FIRST. Whether you feel connected to your own sense of wellbeing or otherwise, look for ways to bring some wellness into the lives of others and consciously note how you feel in response. It can be the tiniest thing that can make the biggest difference to someone’s day or even their life! For example, you’re stuck at a T junction in a queue due to some temporary traffic lights caused by road works (this seems to happen a lot around my way), suddenly the traffic with the right of way and green light allows you to pull out to merge in turn (letting you avoid a long wait), how does this random act of kindness make you feel? I’m guessing however big or small that feeling, it’s likely to be a positive one. Some refer to it as the law of the universe, karma, where what you give out you receive back or ‘reap what you sow’. Those of you who are already active volunteers may already appreciate the benefits of boosting your own ‘well’ of internal wellness through supporting, encouraging and helping others. I know the Smart Works Edinburgh team certainly appreciates all the hard work and enthusiasm from the volunteer team to make a difference to the clients and their families beyond.
Now you have 5 simple and useful tools, whether as new suggestions or reaffirmations of what you already do. Next try this: attach one or all of these ways of enhancing your wellbeing to a simple ‘trigger’. This will act as a reminder to focus on and acknowledge one to five of your ‘5 a day’. For example, using a traffic analogy, every time you’re in a vehicle and are stopped or see a red traffic light let this be a reminder to focus on what you’re doing about nourishing your wellbeing today. Let me know how you get on… and watch this space for the next 5 a day topic encouraging us towards a better life.
“Create a life that feels good on the inside not one that just looks good on the outside.”
(This blog is part II of a many part series by author Lindsey Porter. Click here to read Part I)
Lindsey Porter is an accomplished Project Manager in Financial Services who is now running her own business providing Well Being Retreats, Yoga classes and other therapies. She is an experienced NLP Practitioner, Reiki Master and Holistic Therapist.
Square. Oblong. Embellished. Ruffled. Seasonal. And more. With the endless variety of scarves available, there are even more ways to wear them.
For office wear, the most suitable ones are the square, oblong(skinny and long) and seasonal.
This one is probably the easiest way to wear a scarf:
(Yeah, we didn’t think so)
OR..
You could have a look at the styles created below for the oblong scarf variety i.e. skinny ones as well as the lengthy.
Style A : This is a bold style- looks preppy with a print or elegant with lace pattern. Pair this with a simple dress, making the bow your statement piece.
Style B : This is the simplest style with straight fold. Can be worn uneven or otherwise.
Style C : This is an intricate style and needs adequate room to display its multiple loops. Try using a lighter material for this look, as heavier and bulky ones will overwhelm the detail.
Style D : A simple look, with a twist. Looks best with plain scarves.
Style E and F : Try using an elaborately patterned or interestingly textured scarf for this style. Looping it several times will highlight the various colours and inter-woven materials. Style E is best worn in a heavy material, for chillier weather.
Style G : This works beautifully under a jacket and is ideal with lighter materials.
Style H : Both long and short scarves work for this style, depending on the number of times the scarf is wrapped around the neck.
Style I : This classic style looks best under a coat, with the top knot peeking out for additional colour.
Style J : If you use a short scarf and keep the rolled knot close to the neck, this style can be used for warmth.
Have fun this season trying out these different styles! Coming up soon will be styling for square scarves.
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Smart Works Edinburgh is hosting an Afternoon Tea Party at The George Hotel Edinburgh on May 20th. This is going to be a fantastic event!
Along with delicious food and drink there will be a fashion show, shopping opportunities and lots of fun with comedienne Jojo Sutherland as our MC for the afternoon.
Many people subscribe to the notion that ‘5 a day’ helpings of fruit and vegetables helps sustain a balanced healthy lifestyle. Well I believe this idea can easily be extended to other areas of life, of our well being. Here is the first of a series of short articles exploring what other things we can be mindful of achieving during our day to bring us even nearer to that healthy mental, physical and spiritual balance.
This article ‘food for thought’ is on the area of Confidence.
Here are 5 things you can consider doing on a daily or frequent basis to boost your ability to be and feel confident and apply to whatever situation you are facing. Go on give them a try and let me know your experiences unfold.
Create a positive anchor that you can tap into when needed. This is a great technique that you easily help yourself with. Ask yourself who am I when I’m at my best, my most confident? From there identify a time in your life where you were, felt, looked, sounded at your most confident. Bring that experience back to life, making the picture you see, any sounds you recollect, feelings you remember bigger and brighter than ever and then choose a place in your body to touch/squeeze when you that memory feels strong. For example squeeze the piece of skin between your thumb and forefinger. This is called anchoring that feeling, that ‘state’ to something. It need only take a few moments or minutes to complete. Next time you want to feel ‘that feeling’ just touch the same part of your body and benefit from that strong feeling of supreme confidence, you at your best, coming flooding back. Note, you will need to ‘top back up’ your anchor as you use it. This is a known NLP (neuro linguistic programming) technique which you can read more about from many sources such as books or via online sites or get in touch to explore with me.
Hold a power pose for 1-2 minutes before going into a situation where you need to look and feel confident. A significant amount of academic research supports the notion of holding a body power stance, such as the ‘wonder woman’ pose, which is standing with legs hip width apart and with you hands placed on hips. Do this before venturing into something where you need to feel confident such as an interview or giving a presentation and you will likely come across as more confident than you perhaps feel. Curious about how this is so? Find out more by googling Amy Cuddy, a Harvard Professor and the pioneer in this area of social psychology.
Catch any negative self talk and deliberately and consciously turn into a positive. Become more consciously aware of your mind chatter and when you hear your inner voice going into negative mode, catch the thought and change it round before it becomes a downward spiral. For example, ‘Oh no I just caught site of my reflection in that shop window as I walked past in my lunch hour and noticed how my tummy looks huge in this dress and I thought it looked ok, I feel fat and rubbish now at everything… turn this spiral of inner chatter into… Oh gosh my belly does show a little more in this dress than I thought but you know what I’m a real woman, I’m wearing this fabulous colour and no-one else is going to notice anyway so keep smiling.’ The good news is the more frequently you start to do this, the easier it becomes and the naturally more positive you may find your thought patterns becoming.
Choose your Physiological response. It is regarded as a natural reaction to being nervous or for example if we are put on the spot, to step back and avert your eyes. Instead aim to react by moving/stepping forward and keeping your gaze in triangle area of face between a persons eyes and mouth. This sends an unconscious message to them that you are confident in whatever you are about to say.. another useful one to apply in interview situations!
Confidence is humble not arrogance or dominance. Stay aware of that line between confidence and arrogance and keep on the right side of it. You will often notice that truly confident people can share their mistakes and weaknesses in a positive way by focusing on their learning’s from them and moving forward on what to do next. This helps you have a better probability of attaining the outcomes you are looking for in life.
If you liked this and have a particular area of your wellbeing you’d like me to cover, perhaps something you personally struggle with, please drop me a line with your suggestions. Other ‘5 a day’ topics I’m looking to delve into include anxiety, flexibility and mindfulness.
“The future depends on what you do today… true confidence enables you to show up as your best self more often and comfortably.”
Lindsey Porter is an accomplished Project Manager in Financial Services who is now running her own business providing Well Being Retreats, Yoga classes and other therapies. She is an experienced NLP Practitioner, Reiki Master and Holistic Therapist.
Competency-based interviews use questions which aim to find out how you approach problems, tasks and challenges. They are relatively easy to prepare for, but you’ll have to link your skills and experience to the job: this type of interview gives you the chance to show the interviewer how you have used these skills in your previous experience.
Core competencies
Core competencies are a group of skills or attributes that employers use to determine whether you are suitable for a particular role. Competencies may vary between different roles, and of course the type of business or sector you are applying to, however some of the most common are:
Communication – the ability to communicate clearly with a wide range of people
Teamwork – being able to get on with other people and work well and efficiently with them
Organisation – planning your work and managing your tasks efficiently
Problemsolving – using your initiative to identify problems and find solutions
Results–orientation – knowing what results are important and focusing on how to achieve them
Customerservice – being able to provide good customer service
People management – being able to manage people performance and development
During your job search take time to identify the competencies in the job description and/or the person specification. As part of your application, you will need to demonstrate how you meet each of the core competencies associated with the role.
Know your strengths.
Talk about the ones that are relevant to the job you’re being interviewed for. It’s important to have examples of when you used the skills. You should be ready to describe a problem or situation, the actions you took to resolve the problem, and the results, clearly showing how you used a particular competency. What the interviewer really wants to know is, can you do the job?
Be prepared
Example Job Description: “The right candidate will have excellent communication skills, good timemanagement skills, and be a good teamplayer”.
Before your interview, read the job description and look for the key words that describe the skills and strengths needed to do the job
Make a list and for each one prepare at least one example of how you’ve displayed that skill
You can use examples from your previous employment, work experience, school or further education, and even your personal life
The interviewer will ask you questions about the subject so stick to the facts – don’t be tempted to exaggerate!
Beat the competition – be prepared!
How to structure your competency answers
There are two popular methods to answering competency based interview questions: CAR (context, action, result) and STAR (situation, task, action, result). The STAR method is similar but you will have to provide slightly more information in your response as it includes a “task” stage. Either of these methods will help you to prepare a clear and concise answer.
CAR
Context – Briefly describe the situation and the challenges you faced
Action – Talk about what you did to solve or change this situation: explain what you did, why you did it, and how you did it. Remember to demonstrate the skills (competencies) you identified for the interview
Result – Describe the outcome of your actions: explain what happened, what you did well, what you might do differently or improve, and what was the overall impact
STAR
Situation – (Context) Explain the situation you faced (keep it brief)
Task – What was your task or responsibility in the situation you’ve described?
Action – What did you do? (what, why, how)
Result – Describe the outcome/result (same as CAR method)
Common competency-based interview questions
The type of questions you are asked will depend upon the role you are applying for, however competency-based questions typically follow the same format. Listen out for questions which begin:
Tell me about a time when…
Can you think of an example of when/how…
Describe a situation in which you…
Remember to keep your examples specific, recent, and relevant: the interviewer wants to hear how you have used skills and behaviours in a positive way, so they can see how you would apply them in the role you are interviewing for.
Think about situations where you had to:
Work as a member of a team
Show leadership
Make a difficult decision
Show initiative
Change your plans at the last minute
Manage a confrontational situation
Work with others to solve a problem
Deal with an unhappy customer
If you’re really stuck, talk about how you would handle a similar situation if you were faced with it in the future.
Examples of common competency-based interview questions
Describe a time when you had to explain a difficult task to a colleague
Describe a time you demonstrated good leadership skills
Give an example of when you worked successfully as part of a team
Tell me about a time when you used your initiative to resolve a difficult problem
Tell me about a time you had to manage conflicting priorities
Describe a situation where you had to perform a task you had never done before
Tell me about the biggest change you have had to deal with and how you did this
Describe how you dealt with a difficult or sensitive situation
How do I prepare?
Now you know the format and what sort of questions you might be asked, you can start your preparation:
Identify the competencies for the role you are applying for
Research all the likely questions around the competencies related to this role
Review your employment and personal history to find examples which demonstrate the relevant skills and abilities
Finally, practise using the CAR or STAR method for answering the questions, based on your own experiences
Practice, practice, practice
Prepare at least two different responses for each competency, and practise answering different competency-based questions. Get a friend to test you, and see if you can prepare an answer on the spot.
Even if the interviewer doesn’t ask a competency-based interview question, it’s always good to be able to back up your answers with real-life evidence.
Good luck – show the interviewer you are the best candidate for the job!
Confidence in ourselves and in our own abilities helps applicants successfully pass the interview. The confidence is shown in our appearance, manners, words and deeds. This trait is necessary in achieving the objectives and is highly valued by the HR managers in the job-seekers. Although there is a reverse side – overconfidence. What is the difference?
You are confident if:
aware of your individuality, advantages and disadvantages;
feel worthy of love and respect of other people;
try under no circumstances to crouch and loose own dignity;
properly behave in different life situations;
sincerely express your thoughts and feelings;
avoid lies and hypocrisy;
independently analyze what is happening, do not rely only on the conclusions of past experience, the majority opinion, authoritative personalities and traditions;
easily express own opinion in any collective;
successfully perform in front of the public;
able to insist on your own;
adequately able to respond to the criticism, remarks, insults;
accept people the way they are.
You are very insecure (although think that you are overconfident) if:
strive for power over people, to glory;
strive for domination in everything;
resort to psychological and physical violence over people;
arguing for any occasion;
constantly provoke conflict situations;
“Painfully” proud and too touchy;
perceive any task and problem as a challenge.
Self-confidence is a protective reaction of insecure people. Too self-confident people hide their insecurity by bravado, aggression, arrogance, ostentatious courage and equanimity. HR managers believe that over confidence prevents applicant from adaptation to the company and the succession in conducting the career. One of the basic principles of HR experts – “do no harm” your company. Guided by experience, they differentiate candidates for over self-assured and confident, preferring the latter and sifting on interviews the first.
Assertiveness differs from simply uncertainty. Both personality traits are formed in childhood. As a rule, uncertainty and overconfidence are formed under the influence of wrong education or external factors.
Incorrect education forms such qualities as inaction, passivity, opportunism, deceit, resentment, anger and restlessness.
As the harmful effects of external factors are the crises situations (death of loved ones, divorce of parents, betrayal), an internal crisis (loss of sense of life), constant criticism, abuse, lack of a family of one parent, mentor, friend in life, giving a pattern of behaviour and moral crisis of society.
You are insecure if:
hesitate in simple life situations;
in need of help, support and approval of others;
do not take the initiative;
raze silent resentment and humiliation, make excuses;
let yourself be manipulated, use yourself in other people’s interests;
do not express your opinion, do not ask questions fearing to seem silly;
do not know how to say “no”.
Unfortunately, not many have been correctly brought up as a child. Therefore, almost all have to engage in self-education of self-confidence. Confidence – it is experience of wins. To believe in yourself and your strength, you need often wisely and adequately to resolve a variety of life situations. Psychologists recommend to read more and study professional literature, training, producing your necessary for a successful career trait.
By: Ruslana Jakimova Smart Works Edinburgh Volunteer
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